A License to Party Again?

I know it's very early to say this but I think I'm beginning to get the hang of this.  I've always been a happy person; okay, happy-go-lucky as well.  I've never taken life seriously before. I've just taken it for granted like it's my privilege and right not to worry so much about it.

I was also never ambitious.  I was born poor but my Mom has taught me how to be satisfied all the time.   As I was growing up, I realized that if this is all life could only offer me, then I should gladly accept it.  If I couldn't afford the finer things in life, then I should never go crazy over them.

So yeah, being not too ambitious and merry-goes-whatever, I let life take its course.  I was like, whatever.  I partied all the time, drink like tomorrow's the end of the world and sometimes, let myself do mistakes.  The last being irreversible.

Yes, that one irreversible mistake but again, I should gladly accept that.  But it did shake me and did scare me to hell.  I've always thought I would die young but until I got diagnosed with HIV, it never occurred to me that I'd really die this early.  I sort of died the day I knew and lived like a zombie afterwards.  I can't take life un-seriously anymore, I thought to myself.  After the day I found out, every day seems to be a blessing.

I take life seriously now, of course.  After all, it was not kidding when it gave me this virus.  But, I think being serious about it doesn't really mean I should just mope and cry all day, every day, forever and ever or does it? Life goes on - I've read that somewhere.  I'm not truly dead yet and like everyone else, I also don't know when exactly my last breath would be.

The only difference between me and everyone else is that I literally own my life now.  I can do the hell whatever I want with it.  It's up to me if I'd want to prolong this or shorten this.  Everyone else doesn't have that power.

Last night, I went clubbing for the first time this year.  But since I'm already serious with my life now, I made sure I had at least 8 hours of sleep before I made the decision.  I also decided not to drink and I also skipped on smoking.  I danced so I could also work out.

I guess, I can bargain and compromise with the Reaper for a while now.  I think I've been given another license to party.  All I need to do is play by life's rules, not mine this time, and I should be able to do this indefinitely. Yeah, just like everyone else.